The Anorexic and the useless
by Phil From Produce
Summary: A Winx Club Soap opera. Re-rated T cause i am that good. Updated May 29th, 2012...after 6 years of being in the dark.
1. Gettin' married to timmy white

Title: The Anorexic and the Useless

Tagline: Love, Relationships, A living hell...

Summary: A soap opera version of Winx club. It's gonna go for a long time.

Rated: M for Mature, Rated Mature Teen by Master Riven

Disclaimer: I should call this Winx club soap opera. I don't own it, anyways.

-----

Episode one - Getting married to Timmy white

Tecna and Timmy walked down the isle, to tie the knot for the 1st time.

"Timmy, I love you.I wish this day would never end." said Tecna

"Me too." whispered back Timmy

They made it to the end. Reverend Jameson spoke.

"Timmy White, Do you take this woman to be your lawful, wedded wife, til death do you part?"

Timmy tried to speak, but he was feeling sick.

"Timmy, Do you take this woman to be your lawful..."

Just then, Timmy collapsed.

"Oh my god! Timmy!" screamed Tecna

"Call a paramedic!" said the reverend

Everyone stood up. Brandon immediately ran to Timmy and helped him lay down in a safe state.

"Timmy, Timmy!" said Brandon

"Is he, Is he?"

"Not yet." said Brandon

"Will he die?" asked tecna

----

Riven and Musa Sat down, kissing each other on a park bench.

"Riven?" asked Musa

"Yes, Musa."

"Will you marry me?" asked Musa

"Oh boy, that's a, that's a tough question." said Riven

"Well, there's only 2 answers to it." said Musa

"And i'm trying to narrow it down." said Riven

just then, an ambulance drove by the 2.

"Oh my god,I hope they're all right." said Musa

"Yeah, me too." said Riven

"Riven." said Musa

"Yes Musa?" said Riven

"Please tell me, right now, if you were going to marry someone else besides me, who would you marry?"

----

Flora worked at the local hospital. She was a caring woman, with Helia as a boyfriend. Helia worked as a construction worker.

Just then, 2 doctors burst into the pre-op with a figure on a bed.

"Oh my god! it's Timmy." said Flora, in a shocked state

"He collapsed at a wedding. We need to get him into surgery." said doctor Pierce

"I agree! I'll be with you right away." said Flora

Flora quickly washed her hands and got some gloves on.

"Oh my god, It's Timmy, my friend's Boyfriend! What happened to him! Why is he here?" thought Flora

She walked into Surgery for the longest 7 hours of her life.

---

"He collapsed at their wedding!" said Bloom

"Yes. It's a long story. I don't know how it happened!" said Skye

"All we know is that he didn't die. It wasn't life threatening!" added Brandon

"But he could die?" asked Bloom

"Not likely." said Brandon

"The doctors at the hospital are taking care of him. Don't worry about it." said Skye

"But what if the doctors are wrong? What if Timmy does die?" asked Bloom

----

"I can't believe it. One day you're getting married, the next second, your hubby faints." said Tecna

"I feel so sorry for you." said Layla

"Yeah, me too." said Stella

"Yeah thank you. Hey, give me another beer, Walter." spoke Tecna

"Tecna, you're gonna be an alcoholic." said Layla

"Yeah Tec, Why are you drinking more than one?" asked Stella

"Ok, Guys, theres somethingI have to tell you..."

----

"Suction." said Doctor Hunnicutt

Doctor Pierce gave him suction.

"Hey put some pressure on there, mrs. Marigold." said Hunnicutt

Flora did what she was told.

"Ah-ha! It's a bullet!" said Hunnicutt

"What the hell is a bullet doing inside this kid?I thought he was getting married!" said Pierce

Hunnicutt and flora lifted timmy. they found a bullet hole in his back.

"This kid's got a bullet hole in his back." said Hunnicutt

All of the sudden, Pierce spoke.

"I've got no pulse." said Pierce

---

Will Riven say who he'd rather be with? What is going on with Tecna and alcohol? Readthe next update, on "Who Shot Timmy?"


	2. Who shot timmy?

Chapter 2 - Who Shot timmy?

(Last update on the anorexic and the useless)

"What the hell is a bullet doing inside this kid? I thought he was getting married!" said Pierce

Hunnicutt and flora lifted timmy. they found a bullet hole in his back.

"This kid's got a bullet hole in his back." said Hunnicutt

All of the sudden, Pierce spoke.

"I've got no pulse." said Pierce

---

"Woah, you really gotta watch what you say, maybe i accidentally said something that may have dropped

timmy." said tecna, clearly drunk

"How many beers have you drank?" asked flora

"9." said Tecna

then tecna passed out.

"Yeah, i'd better get the bouncer to get her out." said Walter Clinger, the bartender

"Ok, who is he?" asked layla

"Maxwell O. Riley." said Walter

Maxwell.O. Riley picked up tecna, and put her in layla's car.

"O god, I feel sick." said tecna, throwing up. but when she threw up, she began choking.

"Oh no!" said Layla

---

"Oh boy, this is still a tough one to decide." said Riven

"Can you tell me?" asked musa

"Call me sick, but my sister, who's not a blood sister, man, she's hot...i like her." said Riven

"Your sister mirta!" said Musa

"Yeah...i mean, we're not really related, so nothing bad could happen." said Riven

Musa sat there, looking at him.

"Well, remember, that was sort of a hypothetical question...I love you among anything else." said Riven

"I love you too." said Musa

"Lets go home...i have a suprise waiting for you." said Riven

"What suprise?" Asked musa

"Oh, you'll see. and i think you'll like it." said Riven.

---

"So that will be a troll-sized meal and a pixie pak?" asked the drive thru girl

"Yeah." said skye "And remember, Popsi for me and water for the misses." said Skye

Skye drove up to the drive thru window.

"ok, here's your order sir! and it comes to 15.86." said eugene, the guy who handed out the food.

Skye paid up, and the 2 drove to a parking spot to eat.

"you know, we should go visit Timmy to see whats going on with him." said Skye

"No kidding." said bloom

Skye noticed how little bloom was eating.

"You know bloom, you're eating very little food these days. you're gonna become anorexic." said Skye

"Well, i wanna lose some weight. last summer, i pigged out a lot." said Bloom

"You look great to me." said skye

"Thanks." said Bloom

Then bloom's cellphone rang.

"It's bloom, what's your need?" asked Bloom

"Bloom, it's timmy...he's...he's..."

---

"Clear!" yelled pierce

Hunnicutt nailed the electric stimulators.

"nothing!" yelled flora

"Yets keep going! Clear!" said pierce

Hunnicutt nailed the stimulators again. nothing.

"Goddamnit! come on timmy!" said Flora

The pulse came back after one more try.

"oh thank god." said Flora

After another half hour, surgery was over.

"I'll stay here with him just in case anything happens." said Flora

"Good thinking. his blood pressure is low." said Pierce

"Oh god, i really hope tecna is feeling alright." said Flora

Then the doors burst open.

"Flora! we got another one...this one is choking on her vomit!" said Hunnicutt.

"oh no." said flora...then she looked at the victim.

Tecna.

---

Dealing with tecna was simple. After Tecna was taken care of, She was wheeled off to a different room.

Flora stayed with timmy. Then, timmy opened his eyes.

"oh god, where am i?" he asked

Flora came to timmy.

"Hey timmy." said flora

"Flora? i never knew you were a nurse." said Timmy

"I never knew you were getting married." said Flora

"What do you mean?" asked Timmy

"Well, why didn't you invite me?" asked Flora

"I didn't bring bloom or musa..what makes you so special?" asked Timmy

"I'll tell you what makes me special." said flora

Flora pulled a gun out of her pocket. timmy Gasped

"You were in tecna's mouth when i was alone." said flora

"You...you shot me?" said timmy

"A silenced bullet can't be heard in a church. i shot you safely, so you wouldn't die...but if you go back to tecna, i'll be more than glad

to make your life a living hell, with this little gun here..."

---

Riven and musa got home.

"So what are we doing?" asked Musa

Riven pulled a condom from his pocket.

"Oh, you wanna get busy?" asked Musa, giggling.

Then riven threw the condom aside.

"Riven, i don't think i'm ready for that." said Musa

"Oh, i wouldn't worry. my shares of the Shrico Tasty treats company is making us richer than ever. I want an heir to that throne." said Riven

"But am i mature enough to hold a baby in my arms?" asked musa

"Are you scared?" asked Riven

"Yeah. in a way." said Musa

"Me too." said Riven

Riven picked the condom up.

"Maybe we should wait before i can take the training wheels off, you know what i mean?" asked Riven

Musa laughed a little.

"But you know, i still wouldn't mind a bit of action." said Riven

---

Things are starting to get interesting. How is timmy going to act? Will he abandon Tecna for Flora? Will tecna survive her ordeal?

And bloom? is she an anorexic?


	3. Enter Helia

Chapter 3 - Enter Helia

PREVIOUSLY ON THE ANOREXIC AND THE USELESS

Riven pulled a condom from his pocket.

"Oh, you wanna get busy?" asked Musa, giggling.

Then riven threw the condom aside.

"Riven, i don't think i'm ready for that." said Musa

"Oh, i wouldn't worry. my shares of the Shrico Tasty treats company is making us richer than ever. I want an heir to that throne." said Riven

"But am i mature enough to hold a baby in my arms?" asked musa

"Are you scared?" asked Riven

"Yeah. in a way." said Musa

"Me too." said Riven

Riven picked the condom up.

"Maybe we should wait before i can take the training wheels off, you know what i mean?" asked Riven

Musa laughed a little.

"But you know, i still wouldn't mind a bit of action." said Riven

Skye drove the car slowly down the road.

"You know hon, if you weighed 230 pounds, i'd still love you." said skye

"what if i weighed 231 pounds?" asked bloom

"Babe, it's not that technical. you are the love of my life." said Skye

"awwwe." said bloom, reaching over to skye.

"ah come on, babe. i'm driving this japanese K-car on this busy road that truckers like

to use." said skye

"But i love you too...and i want to show my gratitude." said Bloom

"well, ok, but don't play too rough." said Skye

"don't worry studmuffin. i'm not gonna bite it off." said Bloom

skye's eyes lit up. it wasn't every day he got this kind of treatment.

"Well, ok then babe. but be careful." said skye

Bloom unzipped skye's pants and pulled out his penis.

"woah, i hope i don't start swerving all over the road." skye said in a light-hearted

way.

but 100 miles down the road, a drunken trucker was speeding down the way,

swerving in and out of the lanes.

skye was busy looking at bloom doing what girls in love do best.

but then the trucker drove at extremely high speeds and smashed into the little K-car

and obliterated bloom and skye.

back in the hospital, Tecna was laying in a pile of her own puke.

"uh ow! my head." she spoke

she sat up and looked at herself. she was still in her wedding dress, completely

covered in puke.

"oh god, no. i just remembered timmy." she said to herself

as she laid there, Helia walked into the room, sweaty and bleeding from his right hand.

he accidentally drove a nail through it.

"ow damn! hey! i need a doctor!" he said

Then he looked over and noticed the girl in the wedding dress, half-wasted.

"oh my god! Tecna!" he exclaimed

Helia walked over and sat down beside her and gave her a hug, despite the fact she

was covered in puke.

"oh my god, what happened tecna?" he asked

"i was drunk...timmy got shot." said Tecna

"who shot timmy?" he asked

"i don't know!" said tecna. then she started to cry.

Timmy was finally able to walk. Flora helped him around.

"so you like me?" asked timmy

"no." said Flora

"then why did you just go through that whole routine of shooting me to be with me?"

asked timmy

"Cause i hate that short-haired nerdy bitch." said Flora

"you just dissed my woman." said Timmy

Flora flashed the gun from her pocket.

"She isn't your woman. not anymore." said Flora

Just then, the doors burst open with a pair of paramedics rolling in

two unrecognizable bodies.

"Oh my god!" flora exclaimed

"it was a Semi on K-car collision." said the paramedic

"but they're still alive. both of them are in a coma." said the other paramedic

"get them prepped!" said hunnicutt, running out of the tim hortons in the corner.

"Sexes of victims?" asked Flora

"both female." said the paramedic

"are you sure? this one has long blonde hair, and very manly features." said Flora

"yes, but we couldn't find a penis." said the paramedic.

Will Tecna ever come back to her normal state? Is flora going to control timmy like a

puppet? and did riven and musa have sex? Find out, on the next episode, titled

"The wonders of sex changes."


	4. The Wonders of Sex Changes

Episode 4 - the Wonders of Sex Changes

PREVIOUSLY ON THE ANOREXIC AND THE USELESS

"it was a Semi on K-car collision." said the paramedic

"but they're still alive. both of them are in a coma." said the other paramedic

"get them prepped!" said hunnicutt, running out of the tim hortons in the corner.

"Sexes of victims?" asked Flora

"both female." said the paramedic

"are you sure? this one has long blonde hair, and very manly features." said Flora

"yes, but we couldn't find a penis." said the paramedic.

((((((

Riven walked into his bathroom wearing nothing but his underwear, followed by musa.

the 2 had just done it.

"care to shower with me?" asked a topless musa

"are cats cute?" asked riven, jokingly

the 2 lovers walked into the shower. Riven didn't bother to remove his underwear, while

musa didn't bother to remove her panties.

"this is where i clean you up." said Riven

"oh yeah, being your dirty little slave." musa said in a very sleazy tone

riven rubbed the soap all over musa's torso, enjoying himself very well.

then he handed the soap to musa, who proceeded to pull down his underwear, getting a

glimpse of riven's penis with the condom still on it. but then what she saw shocked her.

"riven, you should know something." said musa

"whats that, babe?" riven asked

"the condom's broken." said musa

))))

back in the hospital, Bloom and Skye remained in a comatose state.

Flora looked at her fallen friends in total disbelief. she had put timmy to bed for the

night, and she was on night call.

"Oh my god...bloom, i hope you'll be ok." she said

Dr. Pierce walked up to Flora.

"Nurse, i understand these are your friends, but there's something you should know." said

pierce

"What is that?" asked Flora

"Bloom is totally ok, her whole body was protected and her head impacted against skye's

abdomen so she had a cushion. skye wasn't as lucky." said Pierce

"you mean...that was skye?" asked Flora

"yeah...his face was hit pretty hard. he'll need facial reconstruction, but thank the lord his eyes were not damaged. i have no idea how that happened." said Pierce

"i'm glad" said Flora

" but apparently, during their drive, his genitalia somehow got removed. but judging by their

bodies positions at the crash, it's likely bloom was performing sexual acts on skye,

and when the truck hit, her teeth dismembered skye's genitalia. it's not the first time

something like this has happened." said Pierce

"oh my god! poor skye." said Flora

"Although...there is another doctor here, who says she's experienced in the field of sexual

realignment, and would like to try an experiment on skye. it's unlikely he'll come out of his

comatose state so we're hoping to do it on him." said Pierce

"But skye is a guy!" argued flora

"Even if we pumped Bloom's stomach, there's no way we can reattach skye's genitalia, there's

too much damage...chances are the stomach acids in bloom's belly would've broken

it down by now." said Pierce

"oh no...whats bloom gonna think?" flora asked herself

))))

That night, Tecna was able to go home, helia offered her a ride.

"Thanks for the ride, helia. i'm sorry you got nailed in the hand." said Tecna

"it doesn't hurt." said Helia

"aww, trying to act tough in front of me?" asked Tecna

"maybe." helia replied

tecna laughed a little.

"You are cute, you know that?" asked tecna

"thanks." said Helia

"you know, in the few months i've known timmy, me and him have never had a healthy

night of sex." said Tecna

"no, no, no! Flora and i are together, you have timmy! don't even imply anything like that!"

Exclaimed helia

"oh come on, What Timmy and Flora don't find out won't hurt them!" said Tecna.

)))))

Back at the hospital, Timmy was able to leave. Flora offered to take him home.

"ok flora, have a good sleep." said hunnicutt, who was tired as well.

As flora and timmy left, Pierce came into the room.

"this is so much worse than Korea." said Pierce

"You said it. i was delivering korean babies, now i'm helping some poor kid

think he's a she when she's really a he." said Hunnicutt

Just then, The new doctor came into the room.

"well hello, and who might you be?" asked the charming dr. pierce

"my name is Dr. Icy trix. I'm here to perform gender alignment surgery on the

subject named skye." said Icy

)))

Will Musa and riven discover if something went horribly wrong? is this love Rectangle

between Tecna, Timmy, Flora and Helia going to spell hell? And finally, What the hell

happened to Brandon and stella? Find out on the next episode of the Anorexic and the

Useless, Titled "Skye or Skyla?"


End file.
